


Achilles Heel

by BlackBandana



Category: Holby City
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-26
Updated: 2017-01-26
Packaged: 2018-09-20 01:32:35
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,270
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9469523
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BlackBandana/pseuds/BlackBandana
Summary: Having seen the trailer for the Tilting at Windmills episode, this is my take on what happened next.First fanfic, please go easy on me :)





	

"Give her back to me!" Serena shouted, snatching Elinor's case review file from the blonde's hands.

Bernie was shell shocked. She knew today was going to be a difficult day for everyone, but she hadn't anticipated being on the receiving end of such anger.

"Serena..." She tentatively took a tiny step forwards.

"Go away!" the brunette snarled, keeping hold of the file tightly.

Bernie stepped back again. She glanced up towards the ceiling as she felt tears prickle her eyes. No, she would not let herself cry. She had no right. It wasn't her who had lost her daughter. She took a deep breath.

"No." She said quietly and as gently as she could, she really didn't want this to escalate into a screaming arguement. She dropped her chin to her chest and fiddled with the hem of her scrub top, unsure how this was going to go.

Serena's head snapped up and she fixed the blonde with the fiercest glare Bernie had ever seen.

"I said. _Go. Away_." Serena dropped her voice too, acutely aware that the was a whole ward just the other side of those very much not sound proof walls, but the intensity remained in the severity of her tone.

"No." The blonde repeated, equally as gently as before. She again took a tentative step forward in the hope that her physical presence might ease the tension slightly. "I know you're hurting but I won't let you push me away like this."

Serena clutched the file high on her chest and dropped her chin down on top of it. She closed her eyes and took a deep shaky breath.

The blonde took this opportunity to take another tiny step forwards towards the brunette and reached out, carefully touching her fingertips to the bare skin at the end of her red shirt sleeve.

"I know you're angry..." she started, her voice barely above a whisper, fingertips pressing ever so lightly on Serena's wrist so as to loosen her grasp on the buff file.

"And I know you're lashing out at everyone and anyone" she continued "...but this is _me_..."

Her voice cracked and trailed off as she gently tugged on Serena's wrist, sliding her hand down the inside of her wrist so that their fingers interlaced.

She paused, watching the brunette in front of her for any signs she might be about to explode in rage again, but all she saw was sadness...nostrils that flared as she struggled to get control over her breathing and knuckles that turned white as she gripped her daughter's file so tightly with one hand.

Bernie brought Serena's left hand up to her chest and clasped it between both of hers, right over her heart, squeezing almost imperceptibly. She closed her eyes too, wishing that she could somehow telepathically get through to the brunette instead of actually having to say everything out loud. She always struggled with verbalising her emotions, especially the important ones.

The brunette took another deep breath that came out as a mixture between an angry huff and a distraught wail. She dropped the case review file onto the chair beside her but continued to stare at it like it might somehow magically bring her daughter back to life.

Bernie edged forward again, keeping hold of Serena's hand at her chest and reaching out with her free hand to very carefully encourage the brunette to lift her chin up. She needed to make eye contact. She had to see what was going on behind those dark chocolate eyes.

As soon as the brunette looked up and locked eyes with her, Bernie knew everything she needed to know. She could see the exquisite pain Serena had been trying so hard to block out written in the depths of her soul. Trying desperately to retain composure Serena's right hand tensed into a fist that she started shaking by the side of her leg and then hitting the top of her thigh. Bernie could see the what was happening and reached across to still the movement. As soon as she made contact and stopped the shaking fist the brunette crumbled before her eyes. She could no longer channel her hurt into anger, nor could she transfer her anger in to the frantic movement of her first and without any other avenue to focus her feelings they had no choice but to come out . A pitiful wail followed by knees that collapsed and she staggered forwards towards the blonde, head hitting her squarely on the collarbone as she clung onto the sleeves of her royal blue scrubs as if her life depended on it.

"I'm here" Bernie whispered into the top of her soft brown hair as the body leaning into her was wracked by violent sobs alternating with panicked gasps as she struggled to catch her breath amongst all the tears.

"I'm here" the blonde whispered again as she stroked circles across Serena's back, much like she imagined she might have done for one or both of her children if she'd been there to comfort them when they woke from a terrifying nightmare.

"I'm here" she continued to whisper as she dropped the softest of kisses to the brunettes temple while she untangled their hands so she could wrap both of her arms around the sobbing, shaking woman in front of her. She enveloped her in her arms and just stood there, whispering sporadically that she was there, that she wasn't going anywhere, that she was never going anywhere and left soft, barely there kisses across her head and temples just waiting for the brunette in her arms to cry herself out and eventually calm down again.

 

•°•°•

 

Neither surgeon knew how long they'd been stood there, Bernie perched on the edge of Serena's desk with her arms wrapped around the brunette as she cried even more tears. But this was how it had been over the past few weeks and Bernie guessed that this was how it was going to continue for some time yet.

Serena would always try so very hard to be brave and strong, not letting anyone see that she was anything less than fully composed and entirely professional.

At home she had perfected the art of keeping interaction with Jason to a bare minimum so he didn't have chance to ask any probing questions.

At work she hid behind the well practiced façade of being Ms Serena Campbell, leading vascular surgeon and Harvard business graduate from whom just a single look was enough to silence any potentially curious colleagues.

And she could keep it all up for the most part. The devoted auntie, the successful surgeon, the revered mentor. Each mask was carefully constructed and each act perfectly performed without error. And she would have got away with it too, if it hadn't been for Bernie.

Bernie was her Achilles heel because, much to her annoyance and endless frustration, she could never keep up the facade when looking into the eyes of her soulmate. She just couldn't do it. And she knew that no matter what she said or did, how much she screamed and shouted and tried in anger to push her away to try and rebuild some sense of security around her fragile heart, she could never shout loud enough or push hard enough. Bernie could see right through her and that made her feel incredibly vulnerable, especially now. But if there was one thing she was learning in all of this, it was that Bernie's love for her was strong and true and her blonde trauma medic had no intentions of going anywhere. Ever.

 


End file.
